Dancing with Myself

We all know that glamor commercials are undergoing massive changes as people become concerned that little girls are made to feel less than perfect and extremely self conscience. Ultimately it can leave to a lack of confidence, which then leads to serious depression….and nothing good comes from an 11 year old stuck in a world of massive depression.

So commercials are making things right by including women/models that are not defined by size 2 clothes, or Victoria Secret features. This is a good thing.

BUT…and a big but in my book, what about all these commercials that focus on group dance routines? You know, perfectly choreographed with people that either have a serious natural talent or have taken expensive dance lessons. This is not realistic, either. Since a large (Read that: LARGE) majority of people dance like a 3 legged camel on frozen ice, then this could lead them to believe they are less that perfect. To me, it is no different than the body aspect, as it can cause a child to be withdrawn and become anti-social. They either skip the prom or become the ultimate wall flower.

It reminds me of the Mastercard commercial from years ago, where the three boys are dancing to George Clinton’s “We got the Funk.” Now THESE boys did not give a crap about their dancing techniques, but many do, and it can be crushing to their self confidence.

Barber vs. Salon

Cupcake is making an appointment to get her hair done before school starts. Get that? Make an appointment. Not just walk in. Of course, it isn’t just a “haircut”. It is a style, coloring, something called balayage, fluff, layer, blow dry, and a price tag to reflect all these things. An hour later he is still snipping. Not sure what, because he has been snipping the same square inch since 30 minutes ago. He has 9 different types of brushes, each one seems to require 100 strokes, and then more snipping. When he is finally done, there does not seem to be any residual hair on the floor. Huh. Then comes the blow dry, with comb motions that defy physics.

All done.

I am a guy.

I go to my barber. Walk in. He says “hey”. I say “hey”, I sit down, he cuts my hair. I give him a $20. Done. The entire thing takes 20 minutes. No reservation book. No “how would you like this today?”. No words spoken concerning my gray hairs. Just the sound of scissors and trimmers, while I watch whatever sports he has on the TV.

Flexible Narrative?

Liberal America:

2 years ago: Everybody MUST get a shot or lose your job, no travel, no entrance to businesses. Complete shutdown. Vax documentation required!

Today: My body, my choice

6 months ago: No more pronouns! He can identify as she! Biology does not matter! Men can get pregnant!

Today: Men have no say in Roe V. Wade as they do not get pregnant!

6 years ago: Colin Kaper-dick can kneel if he wants to ! It is his right! We support all of those that choose to kneel on National TV!

Today: A High School football coach kneel before a game? Say what? Fire his ass!

SUPREME COURT JUSTICES TODAY: FUCK LIBERALS. THE CONSTITUTION WINS. THE END.

Epiphany of choices

I was just washing the breakfast dishes, thinking about what to make for dinner on my day to cook (Cupcake and I alternate days), and thought that this was a source of stress for me. Trying to come up with something different. I thought, no wonder so many older couples just go out to eat. I mean, the cost to eat in is catching up to the cost of eating out, right?

Then it occurred to me that deciding where to eat everyday would be just as stressful as deciding what to make at home. And it hit me…the master of all epiphanies: This has nothing to do with dinner, I am just tired of making choices!

Yeah. You go your whole life making choices. Choices like what to wear. No wonder 80 year old men do not give a crap if the shirt is checkered, the pants are plaid, and the socks do not match. That is just one less choice they have to make on that day.

What shampoo do I use? Dish detergent? Toilet paper? What about what car to buy? Do I buy brand name or generic? Hell, even at the gas pump: 87, 89 or 93? What TV show interest us tonight? Should we stream Netflix, Prime, or HULU? Should my sandals be closed toe of open toe, open back or strapped?

Anyway, I could list a million of them, and they all make me tired. So what to make for dinner will just have to continue to be irritating. Or not. Damn. Another choice.

Timely Transitions

Cupcake and I are listening to the greatest hits of the sixties, and at this moment it is Petula Clark’s “Downtown”. Got me to thinking about Generational Updates –

60’s, we all shopped “downtown”

70’s/80’s we all shopped “the mall”

90/00’s we all shopped “at Wally’s”

2010/current we all shop “Amazon Prime”.

I wonder if this a better way to define progress, laziness, or societal destruction?

Routine + Age = Necessity

When we are younger, for the most part we did not want routine. We wanted life to be spontaneous, exciting, unpredictable. If it did not work out, no problem, we just go another new direction. We never went the same way when we hit another fork-in-the-road.

As we get older, that freaking routine becomes a game saver. I am finding myself forgetting more things lately. Not “Alzheimer’s” forget, more like “Where the hell is the remote?” forget.

So I am learning to embrace routine. Those things that I have done so often that it becomes an unconscious action: Putting my keys on the key hanger as soon as I enter the house, putting the remote on the left end table by the Kleenex, checking to make sure the doors/windows are locked as we go to bed, putting my glasses on the wine table when I take them off for the night. Stuff like that.

If I have to think about it, then we are at 50/50 that I will remember. Kind of like making a grocery list rather than relying on my brain to remember what I am going shopping for.

Any of my more senior followers find yourself in the same boat?

Re-Categorize

In the interest of bipartisanship, and so that I can justify my “dislike of people” on a simpler scale, rather than subdivide them into Conservative vs Liberal, or Democrat vs Republican, I am going a new direction.

They will now be categorized by “Wheel of Fortune” contestants or “Jeopardy” contestants.

If you cannot figure out what I am doing here, then just go ahead and jump into the “Wheel of Fortune” queue.

But he is a sweetheart!

Next Door Neighbor announced another loose dog in our neighborhood. The picture showed a very large gray Pit Bull. Of course the owners say “he will never hurt a fly, he is a sweetheart”.

News Flash: No he isn’t.

They are very loyal to their owner/handler, but EVERYONE ELSE is a threat and fair game. They will attack. It is bred into them for hundreds of years. You would have better luck convincing me your duck hates water.

Now when I walk our Pug, I carry a sweet S&W 9mm, loaded, chambered, and with no safety. The dog is not an issue with me as he will be dead long before he approaches snapping proximity. But Cupcake…..she only goes with a whistle and a prayer.

Make no bones about it: she gets hurt, the dog’s owner is on a limited oxygen supply, so my advice is simple: secure your damn dog.

Time to surrender your….

What happened in Texas this past week was a horrible tragedy, on this we can all agree. No child should have their life cut short for any reason. It would seem, though, that the killer is not at fault. Nope. The liberal narrative blames it on the gun. The shooter was just a tool of his weapon.

Ok. Lets extrapolate –

On that same day, 56 minor children were killed in car accidents – So please go to the nearest DMV and surrender your cars, driver’s license and keys

On that same day, 5 children were killed by knife stabbings – So please go to your nearest police station and surrender all your knives, even those used in the kitchen

On that same day, there were 2632 abortions – So please call your local gynecologist and surrender your reproductive organs.

On that same day, 13 kids died as a result of consuming poisonous materials made available in the home – So please call poison control and surrender all of your cleaning products, bath products, makeup products, and body lotions

See how this works? I have guns. More than one, and in my entire life, not one of them has jumped into my hand, taken control, and commanded me to go take an innocent life. They sit safely and obediently waiting for me should the need arise to defend my family. (These figures were based on FBI statistics from 2019)

Tease my ass!

Cupcake and I like to watch Wheel of Fortune followed by Jeopardy (like a zillion other households). Now this is on CBS, so around 6:55 we turn it on and wait out the last 5 minutes of CBS National News (spelled “Propaganda”). This time, they teased with a next day lead story about a new scam that is taking millions from those that cannot critically think. Well, that might be worth watching , we thought. It was teased for the next day’s 6:30 news.

So, against my better judgement, we tuned in at 6:30. Watched the whole newscast, and guess what? No scam story. Oh, they had all the usual woke crap, but the only thing I cared about was this tease. Epic fail. So if they lie about that, and if I extrapolate measuring integrity, then the outcome is that CBS is “liar liar pants on fire” with all their news.

Sad.