When My Body talks….

I listen. Ever notice how your body can chat it up with you if you are just willing to listen? I am not talking about “ouch that splinter hurts” talking, I am talking about when it tells you it needs something. Four weeks ago, for me, it was apples. I eat maybe 4 apples a year, but for a short period, my body could not get enough of them…two, three a day. Did not matter the type: Winesap, Red Delicious, Golden, just any old apple. Then it stopped, I did not crave apples anymore. Sometimes it is bananas, some times avocados, sometimes grapes, and yes, sometimes even beer (which is why I am writing this blog). I am not a beer guy. I am a hard cider guy, but this last week, my body has CRAVED beer. I might drink 6 beers a year normally, but now I am drinking two a day (yes, not many for most people, but a lot for me). I did find one that has less than 3 grams of carbs that I like (Corona Premium), and I know this craving will pass, but why is my body suddenly demanding I drink it at all? Is there something in the barley or malt it needs? Normally I can figure out what the food is providing, but not on this one. It is not an alcohol thing because I have just never been one to drink for the sake of drinking.

Maybe next week I will be craving something else, but please this time be something cheap to satisfy, like cucumbers.

Another Legacy

Want to know another legacy we are leaving our grandchildren? Try this annoying heachache:

An obscure law firm you never heard of comes on TV and it starts : “Were you or a loved one forced into taking the 2021 Covid vaccinations and later on developed -Cancer, COPD, Blood-clots, Amnesia, Alzheimer’s, Weak heart, High Blood pressure, etc-? Then you may be entitled to considerable compensation…….

And this shit is every fourth commercial for YEARS.

Reality has levels

Today I was waiting in the grocery line behind another clueless shopper who needed her very own checkout line, when I started to glance at the aisle tabloid. One in particular caught my eye, and kind of made me angry. Then really angry. Eventually full blown “Shit to me” angry.

Now first off, I am not a bleeding heart. I believe most people make their own beds and bad decisions, and eventually Karma comes around to show them they did a crappy job, so I am hardly one to feel sorry for the homeless drunk on the corner. With that said, here is what tipped my anger to The Dark Side:

The headline was “Meghan Trainor Struggling with Anxiety”. Yeah. This made the cover. Not that she does not have anxiety…we all do….but to make this a headline? Really? So what, her personal Chef made her steak Medium instead of Medium well? Her boyfriend slipped up and took her to a 4 star restaurant instead of a chic 5 star?

Anxiety? How about a single mother of three whose husband split in the middle of the night, leaving her and the kids homeless and just a part time job at the local hotel? How about the 16 year old whose parents just got smashed by a drunk driver, leaving her to the care of CPS? A family that stands by watching their house float down the Mississippi with everything they own inside? Yeah…this stuff happens A LOT, and the anxiety has a pucker factor of 10 for pretty much ever.

So sorry if you have a little anxiety Ms. Trainor, but you can always fire the chef and get a new one.

Eating: The new luxury

It is just the wife and I, so food shopping is hardly difficult or expensive. We do not have a “big shopping day”, but rather, lots of little trips to keep us fed. We do watch the budget, but for the most part, we get what we need with only a glance at the cost. . Until today. Shit. The inflation is making me do a double take. We use an Iberian Olive Oil, and we buy it by the half gallon, so it has been a couple of months since I had to buy anymore. In that time, the price doubled. To the penny. So I started to look closer at the things I was putting in the cart, and everything has skyrocketed 40% – 60% in just the last three months. Wow. Now we can handle it pretty much without an issue, but these large families on a tight budget, or seniors on strict fixed incomes, going to the grocery store has to be a budget destroyer.

So I asked myself, I said “Self, what has changed over the last three months to cause this inflation to occur?” Not Covid….Covid has been shutting shit down for 18 months, inflation has taken off only in the last three. So what caused it? Here, I will help with that answer….it rhymes with widen…..

Two in one day

Yep. Two blogs in one day because…well…the situation demands it. These are valuable lessons learned in the last 36 hours. Banks have not caught up to the internet generation. See, if you are a baby boomer like me, the last time you purchased a car, you went to the dealer, picked out the vehicle of your choice, test drove it, sat down with finance, pounded out the terms, and went home with your car.

Today, Generation X, Y, Z B2.0 and AEIOU are purchasing online. Quickly. So inventories are slim, at best, unless you too choose to buy online. Except most of us 60+ have never done it, so…we have to learn to browse, select, pray for availability, and try to get the paperwork done all from the comfort of our home.

We actually went to our bank, got the loan approved, picked out a car, and thought that maybe the bank would get involved enough to see the transaction through. Ours doesn’t. It seems that the banks and the dealerships and the internet are not harmonious. They do not work in sync. It seems that each is oblivious to what needs to be done. I am pinging like a steel ball at a video arcade and little Billy has unlimited quarters.

Either fucking get this all lined up and streamlined, or go back to the old way: The guy on the lot gets first dibs.

For sale, but not really

Yesterday (Labor Day) we went shopping for a car….a used car since we like to let someone else pay the depreciation. We had a decent budget, but not unlimited, and were even prepared to pay cash for something that we deemed a “Steal”. What we knew was we wanted a Crossover that was still in warranty, and we had a wish list of ‘yes” vehicles, and a list that could be best described as “not on your mothers grave”.

We left early at 9 AM, thinking we could catch some labor day sales. We went down to what can be described as “used car alley” here in Tampa – where there are around 30 used car outlets.

The first 5 we went to were closed. Yep. Labor Day. Closed. WTF? We got out anyway and looked at some cars undisturbed. Good thing we did. Sticker shock. Did we budget enough?

The 1st one we came across that was open was Carmax. Most decent sized towns have one, and they are reputable and appear to have a decent inventory, and although not our first choice, we went in. We were greeted by an eager but not overly pushy car sales representative. We gave him our “wants”, and he took us out to an overfilled lot, directed us to Crossovers in our range, said he would let us browse and when we had questions, let him know.

This is where the issues began. You see, the lot was full, but damn near none were actually available for sale. It would seem that most are waiting for pick up, waiting for title clearance, or on hold for a pending purchase. They have these little orange stickers in the window that actually says “This car not available for purchase”. What? It is on your used car lot, but not actually for sale? Car after car had this sticker on the window, so what seemed like a strong inventory of about 50 crossovers was actually only about 15. By the time we filtered out the no go’s (year, mileage, inflated price, and “mother’s grave” list) we had maybe three to choose from.

We chose none. What kind of dealer fills up a used car lot with cars not available? Why not have a separate holding lot? I am guessing because if they did that, the actual “for sale” lot would look like a car wash lot during a rainstorm: empty, and that would not attract any buyers off the street.

And know what? They are right. Instead, they piss off customers who do come in but are forced to choose, rather than free to shop. That is a lost customer for life.

31 + 1

There are 32 teams in major League Baseball. 31 of those teams hold their weekday games in the evening. Because that is when their fans get off of work.

The Chicago Cubs have their home games at 1:20 in the afternoon. Huh.

3 out of 4 ain’t bad

Today’s is short. Deep questions to ponder:

Will man ever be able to travel faster than the speed of light?

Is their alien life beyond earth’s atmosphere?

Is earth destined for a black hole?

Will Africa ever be able to feed itself without Western donations?

The first three appear to be possible.

A Cross Road of Life

Or maybe better, a Cross River of Life. One of those things nobody ever alerted you to when you were growing up. To be brief –


No, not the “empty the Tequila and call a cab” intake, I am talking normal drinking stuff intake: water, lemonade, tea, coffee, soda…that kind of shit. And no, not the healthy aspects of drinking (or not drinking) that crud. I am talking WHEN and HOW MUCH intake.

See, we know from health 101 that we have to drink to stay hydrated, because not drinking enough leaves you dehydrated and susceptible to weird stuff like heat stroke, dry skin, kidney stones, movement issues. They told us all about that part. Here is the crossroad part – if I DRINK in quantity like I am supposed to, then I can guarantee a piss assy nights sleep. Yup. You know what I am talking about: those 14 trips to the bathroom. If you are like me, my bladder never cooperates. I can drink a gallon of water at 8AM, and not pee all day. My bladder is only awake between 2 AM and 5 AM. That is when it does it’s emptying. Every freaking time.

So, to beat my bladder, I have to not drink. At all. Measurements in do not equal out. I believe the algorithm is (intake = 20 x out-stream). Why not drink?

Because I will take a good nights sleep over hydration all day long.